Chapter 1.
It’s my entire fault, Kate thought as she buried her head in the soft, downy pillow. If I hadn’t brought Liz into my parent’s haus, this never would have happened.
Normally Kate was lulled to sleep by Benjamin’s rhythmic snoring, but tonight sleep was escaping her. She considered that the only black spot in her life right now was that her good friend, Liz, was taking Jessie’s attention away from her sister, Annie.
It’s clear that Annie and Jessie are perfect for each other, she thought. Yet what chance does the no makeup-wearing, plain-clothed Annie have against Liz who always wears those tight fitting Englisch clothes? I know Annie loves Jessie, that’s clear enough and I’m sure he was starting to return her love until Liz showed up. Now, all Jesse’s attention seems to be taken up with Liz.
Kate’s mind drifted to all the things that had happened in her own life over the past year. In that time Kate had finally married Benjamin, the love of her life, and they were living happily in the little white haus that Benjamin had built for her on the edge of his farm. They had both made the little cottage into a simple and fully functioning home for themselves. Benjamin had several pieces of furniture that his Grossdaddi had made and Kate had lovingly made one of her quilts for their bed. Every morning Kate forced herself out of bed and worked hard in the vegetable garden. After tending the garden, Kate would go to work in the tailor’s shop with Rebecca. Rebecca had become more than her boss; she had become a close friend. Kate was thankful that she was still able to work at the tailor’s after marrying, but she wondered how she would still manage to work there after she had a boppli. Not that she was expecting yet, but she hoped to be very, very soon. Kate rolled over, trying not to wake Benjamin. As always, Benjamin, like most Amish men, had to wake at first light to fulfill his workload for the day.
A little smile crept across Kate’s face as she realized how truly blessed she was. She was married to the best man in the world she was still able to work outside the community, and Benjamin made her feel like the most wunderbaar woman. The icing on her cake would be to have the blessing of a boppli, and then her world would become even more perfect and complete.
Kate wanted Annie to get married so that Annie would be as happy as she herself was. Kate wondered how she could help make it happen. Annie would never show Jessie that she liked him, but maybe it would be better if she did make her interest known to him. Sometimes menner just need a little prod in the right direction.
Kate wondered if she should have Benjamin talk to Jessie, his bruder, to see where his affection lay, but then Kate remembered that Benjamin did not approve of meddling in the affairs of others. However, Kate was not - not when it came to her schweschder’s happiness. Kate knew what it felt like to be in love with a mann and to pretend that the love was not there. Kate often sent up a silent prayer of thanks to Gott that Benjamin and she had finally gotten together despite all the obstacles that had been set in their path.
Kate’s head spun as she thought of her friend, her schweschder, and her bruder-in-law. She knew she had to get some sleep, because she would be of no use at work tomorrow if she didn’t. Her eyes had to be fully rested if she was to do the fine hand stitching required by the beaded gowns she sewed.
Unable to sleep, Kate’s thoughts returned to the conversation earlier that day between herself and her best friend, Liz. Liz had been born into the Amish community, but had left when she was sixteen. The only time she had come back was to stay, temporarily, with Kate’s parents, as she had nowhere else to go.
“Kate, thank you so much for letting me stay at your parent’s place. I’m so grateful to you and your parents. I know I’ve stayed much longer than I thought, but I should be gone soon.”
Kate could never say no to her dear friend, but in trying to help her friend it looked very much like she had ruined things for Annie.
Kate was sitting at her large wooden table folding the clothes that she had just gotten off the clothesline. “Anytime, Liz, you know that. Besides, you get on great with everyone. Mamm and daed love having you here. I’ll finish folding these and then get us something to eat.”
Liz started to help Kate fold the clothes. “I will be leaving in about two weeks, I’d say.”
Kate nodded and wondered if that were really true. It was not the first time that she had heard Liz say that she would be leaving in about two weeks.
“The new job starts in two weeks and as soon as I get paid, I’ll rent a place,” Liz continued.
“Take as long as you need.” Kate took advantage of their private moment. “Liz, I have to ask you something.”
Liz looked up from the folding that she was doing. “What is it? Sounds serious.”
Kate shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe it is serious.”
Normally Kate didn’t like to pry, but she just had to know how Liz felt about Jessie. Kate folded the last of the clothes and pushed them to the end of the table. “Let’s have some blueberry cake and some rolled oat cookies first.”
“Oh, goodie. I love rolled oat cookies. You’re such a good cook.”
Kate took the boiled kettle off the stove, and carried the blueberry cake and cookies back down to the table. “So, what I want to know is… do you like anyone here in the community? Like a man, I mean.”
Liz laughed. “Yes, I kind of like someone and I’m pretty sure he likes me too, but time will tell.”
That was exactly what Kate had been afraid of. She cut the cake into slices. “That’s what I thought.”
“Am I that easy to read? How did you guess that I like an Amish man?” Liz picked up a cookie and took a bite.
“I know you very well, dear Liz.” Kate poured them both a cup of kaffe. “You're like a schweschder to me.”
Liz nodded and smiled at her. “Mmmm. These cookies are very good."
“Denke. They’re Benjamin’s favorites.” Kate took a sip of her kaffe. “Since you like an Amish man, do you think it would be better if you wore something a little, well a little…. plain? Like the dress I made for you?”
Liz looked a little embarrassed and nodded. “Most likely, but I couldn’t make myself wear it; I’m sorry. It was so good of you to make it for me. I can’t bring myself to wear anything like that anymore, and to be truthful it brings back memories of being trapped in this community.”
Kate thought that it was odd for Liz to refer to being trapped in the community because she had willingly stayed at her parents’ haus for over a year now. “That’s alright. If you aren’t going to wear it, then maybe you could give it to Annie. She’s probably due for a new dress.” Kate figured that if Liz wasn’t going to wear the dress, then someone should be getting use out of it. Kate had been brought up never to waste anything.
Liz was immediately agreeable. “Yes, good idea; I’ll give it to Annie. You’re not upset with me, are you?”
“Nee, of course I’m not upset, but your Amish mann might like to see you wear something a little plainer than the clothes you usually wear. You don’t want to scare him away.”
Liz nodded. “I will give it some thought then.”
“More kaffe?”
Liz nodded again. “Yes, please.”
Kate poured Liz another cup of coffee. “Now tell me who your Amish mann is.” She was pretty sure it was Jessie.
“I don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to jinx it.” Liz’s tone was quite firm.
Kate screwed up her nose and realized that Liz no longer thought like the Amish. That was a very Englisch thing to say. Kate only knew what the word jinx meant because she’d lived amongst the Englisch for some time. It was a word that the Amish most certainly would never use, as it is something they don’t believe in at all. Jinxing implies that things are left to chance or some other sort of power. However, the Amish know that everything is in Gott’s hands and that He is in charge of all things.
Kate took another sip of kaffe and then placed the mug carefully back on the table. “That’s all right; don’t tell me. I’ve got a pretty good idea who it is anyway.”
Liz giggled like a little girl. “Do you, now?”
Kate nodded.
“Well, you’ll just have to wait and see whether you are correct or not, won’t you,” Liz said between giggles.
“If you’re not going to tell me, then I guess I will have to wait.” No waiting is needed, Kate thought. It’s Jessie for sure. What other reason would she have for not telling me? It can only be because Jessie is Benjamin’s bruder.
* * *
Kate tossed in the bed once more, pleased that Benjamin was a sound sleeper. If Liz had worn the dress I made for her, I wonder if Jessie would’ve paid her as much attention. It’s obvious that Annie and Jessie are a perfect match for each other. They get on so well and have so much in common. Hopefully, somehow, his attention will be drawn back to the goodhearted Annie.
Kate considered herself to be in a most difficult position. Both her best friend and her sister were in love with the same mann. She would like nothing better than to have her schweschder, Annie, marry her bruder-in-law, Jessie, but Liz deserved happiness as well. Kate felt as if her heart were torn. She wanted them both to be happy, but there was only one Jessie.
As tempting as it is, I must not meddle. I have to leave it in Gott’s hands, Kate thought, as she snuggled into Benjamin’s broad and very warm back, breathing in his warm, familiar scent.
* * *
At that very same moment Annie was also unable to sleep, as thoughts of Jessie were very much on her mind as well. She had often noticed him looking at Liz. It hurt her that his attention could be swayed by the physical, the outside looks of a person, rather than what was on the inside. Surely purity, honesty, and a good heart matter for something, she thought. I will put my heart in Gott’s hands and let Him find me a mann who truly loves me. I hope it is Jessie. With that silent prayer, Annie pushed thoughts of Jessie right out of her mind, confident that Gott would work things out for her one way or another, and she closed her eyes and got some much needed sleep.
