Chapter 1.
Elizabeth ran from the house to the barn with two cookies clutched in her hand while snowflakes softly fell around her. Once she got safely into the barn without anyone calling her back, she looked at the house hoping no one would notice her missing—at least until she ate her snack. Spotting a bale of hay, she pulled it closer to the door. That way, she would see if anyone approached.
The white Amish farmhouse looked pretty as the snow settled on the roof. The Grabers' home wasn’t large compared with some of their neighbors, but there were four small bedrooms, enough for the Grabers and their three foster children, of whom Elizabeth was one. She’d been with Gretchen and William Graber for ten years. Before that, she’d been placed with the Wallaces briefly and then the O’Briens. She much preferred Gretchen and William Graber as foster parents. If only there weren’t so many chores all the time.
She stared at the smoke spiraling from the single chimney and breathed in deeply. The smoke mixed with the aroma of the baking bread, and the sight of the fresh snow gave Elizabeth a sense of comfort. Most of the memories of her parents were now faded, but she remembered some of their Christmases together.
Recollections of her father teaching her to skate on the ice were the clearest of them all.
He’d bundle her up and allow her to sit in the front seat of his truck while he drove to the skating rink. Then it seemed like they stayed on the ice for hours while he patiently taught her the proper movements—how to slide one leg out and then the other.
When she’d gotten it right and skated alone, she remembered her squeals of delight as her father cheered her on, grinning from ear-to-ear at her efforts.
Sadly, they only had a few seasons together.
Remembering those years tugged at her heart. Many years had passed since her parents had died in the accident. Fortunately, she had no memory of the accident and had been told she’d been thrown clear of the car during the wreck. Her parents weren’t that lucky and had both died at the scene. Having no known relatives, Elizabeth was immediately placed into foster care.
She nibbled on the cookie while her eyes settled again on the smoke that came from the wood-burning stove in the kitchen. Elizabeth was continually amazed that one stove was able to generate enough warmth to heat the entire household.
When she’d finished the cookies, she dusted off the crumbs from her hands, pulled the hay back to where it had been, and then headed back to the Graber house where she lived with two other foster children, Megan and Tara, who were around the same age.
Gretchen’s head whipped up from sharpening knives at the kitchen table when Elizabeth walked back inside.
“Don't you have work at the coffee shop this morning, Elizabeth?”
“No. I’m not scheduled for today.”
Megan and Tara were sitting beside Gretchen, having a break from their chores.
“Where have you been?” Tara asked.
“I just stepped outside for a moment.”
Megan, the quieter of the girls, asked, “Would you like some hot chocolate?”
“Yes, please.” Elizabeth took a seat at the table, pleased she’d arrived back in time for another break from daily chores.
Megan was always doing things for others, and fussing over people like a mother hen. Tara was forever talking about boys, mostly when Gretchen was out of earshot.
Gretchen said, “I know it’s hard for all of you at this time of year.”
Elizabeth nodded. “I still miss my parents.”
“At least you have some memories,” Megan said as she poured the hot chocolate into a cup.
Elizabeth knew that Megan's father had died suddenly when she was a baby, and her widowed mother had been in poor health and unable to handle single-motherhood. There hadn't been any relatives who were able to help her mother or to give Megan a home.
“I know.” Gretchen’s eyes moistened in sympathy as she listened to the girls.
“Well, I’ve got no one to miss.” Tara’s words were firm and cold.
Tara had only been with them for three years, and had never known her parents. She’d been adopted twice and then twice given up when each family’s circumstances had changed. Elizabeth had never asked and neither had she been told what Tara had gone through, but given her harsh exterior she guessed it was something horrid. The Grabers’ house was a haven for the three of them. Unable to have children themselves, Gretchen and William opened their home to children who needed to be loved.
Megan looked out the window. “It's snowing, Mamm!”
Megan had adapted quickly to the Amish ways, calling her foster parents Mamm and Dat. Tara and Elizabeth called the Grabers Onkel William and Ant Gretchen. After all, they weren’t Elizabeth’s real mother and father, and Tara must’ve felt the same.
Something in Elizabeth’s heart held her back from throwing herself into the Amish ways. Her parents weren’t Amish, so she wasn’t sure if this was where she belonged. Thinking about whether God had placed her with the Grabers because He wanted her to be Amish made her head spin sometimes. That would mean that He didn’t prevent that dreadful accident, and He spared her so she'd be placed here, and thinking if all of that could be so...it then caused her to feel dreadfully guilty.
In a year or two, she’d have to make up her mind what to do. If she chose to live amongst the people in the world outside the community, where would she live? She had no known relatives, no connections to her parents. The only place now that felt like home was with the Grabers. Every Amish woman got married young—it was the Amish way to marry and have many children. The choice was clear—she’d have to find an Amish man to marry, or leave the Amish community and make her way as an outsider—an Englischer. She already had a job in a coffee shop, so that was a good start.
“Here you go, Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth looked at the hot chocolate that Megan had just placed in front of her. “Denke, Megan.”
“What are you girls doing today after your chores?” Gretchen asked.
“I’m going into town,” Tara announced with a secret smile hinting around her lips.
Elizabeth guessed she was most likely going to meet a boy somewhere.
“What about you, Megan?”
“I think I’ll just stay around here and catch up on my sewing.”
Gretchen smiled at Megan’s response. A real Amish girl would’ve most likely stayed home and sewed. Gretchen would prefer if the three of them stayed in the Amish community rather than go out into the world.
Elizabeth said to Gretchen, “I’m going ice-skating today. It's been a long time.”
“Okay, gut. I know how you like your skating. I'm almost finished making the quilt I’ve been working on, so that’s my project for today.”
“Gut! We can sew together, Mamm.”
Gretchen smiled warmly at Megan.
After a period of silence while they drank their hot drinks and ate cookies, Gretchen said, “Tara, you might as well take Elizabeth to wherever she’s going to skate, and you can fetch her on your return. That way we only need use one buggy.”
“Okay,” Tara said. “I don’t know exactly how long I’ll be.”
“Just come and get me whenever you’re finished.”
* * *
Staring out at the ice, Elizabeth fought back tears. Two children playing in the snow near the pond provided a good distraction. Elizabeth knew she’d been like one of those carefree children many years ago.
“Okay, here I go,” Elizabeth whispered looking down at the skates on her feet.
As soon as her foot hit the ice, joy rippled through her body. Elizabeth could never explain what it felt like to be on the ice. All she understood is that she'd never truly be happy if she didn't skate. It was like flying—as free as a bird.
She soon gathered speed at the edge of the frozen pond, listening to the steel hit the ice with each stride. Chips of ice flew behind her as she increased her speed and readied for what her father had called her 'special move.’
Lifting one leg into the air, Elizabeth stretched out her arms and leaned forward with her leg out behind her as far as it would go within the confines of her long dress. Allowing the momentum to move her, she floated on one skate with the bitter wind hitting her face, freezing her tears onto her cheeks. When she lowered her leg to slow down, applause rang out from behind her.
Startled, Elizabeth came to a halt as soon as she could and then spun around to see where the commotion was coming from. On the other side of the ice stood a young Amish man. Embarrassed, Elizabeth stood still, wiped her tears, and then moved off the ice.
“You're really good,” he called out.
Elizabeth gave a nod in a polite response, before looking for her bag containing her boots. The man must’ve been a visitor to their community because she’d never seen him before. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement from his direction. A loud thud followed by a painful whimper echoed through the air. The man lay on the ice, holding his leg.
“Are you okay?” Elizabeth asked as she quickly moved toward him.
Reaching for Elizabeth's outstretched hand, he answered, “Bruised, but not broken. I hope.”
Elizabeth helped him to his feet and led him off the ice.
“You sure you're okay?”
“Dumb move, I guess. I didn't think walking on the ice would be that hard.”
“Well, why were you walking on it? Where are your skates?”
The man turned crimson and laughed. “I was walking to talk to you. I wasn't thinking straight.”
Elizabeth's eyebrows flew up, “Talk to me? Why?” He was handsome and she guessed him to be twenty or a little older.
He sat on a wooden bench and looked up at her. “You looked sad. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, and I have to go.” She saw her bag, walked over to it and proceeded to take off her skates and put on her boots. She’d never been good about talking with strangers.
“Don’t go yet.”
“I should. I have people waiting for me.”
“Well, wait,” he said rubbing his leg, “I don't even know your name.” He limped over to her.
Elizabeth paused, and he continued, “I'm Joseph.” He held out his hand for her to shake.
Elizabeth gave his hand a quick shake while sadness surged through her. Joseph was her father’s name and here she was at the ice, their special place. She willed herself not to cry.
“I’m Elizabeth. I should go.” Turning to leave, a shiver ran through her body. She hoped it wasn't noticeable and started to walk away hoping that Tara would see she was already gone when she came to fetch her, and would go home too.
“Are you freezing?” Joseph asked.
“It's been so cold for so long, I've gotten used to it. Goodbye,” she called over her shoulder as she walked faster.
“You shivered. So, if it's not the cold, then what is it?” Joseph moved to follow Elizabeth. Catching up to her, he continued, “Look, I'm not trying to be rude or anything. I just saw a girl I’d like to get to know and made a fool of myself before I could give her my name. Can we start over?”
Elizabeth stopped in her tracks and turned around. “Start what over? You fell. I helped you. I'm Elizabeth. You're...” Tears welled in her eyes and she swallowed hard.
“Oh! I'm sorry. Did I say something to upset you?” Joseph asked.
Embarrassed, Elizabeth wiped her tears. “Nee. Sorry. It's not you. It's...well; it's complicated. I...um...it's... Never mind.” She picked up her pace, ashamed of herself for reacting the way that she had. It wasn't his fault that he had the same name as her father. If she were going to function normally, she'd have to learn to control her emotions. Aunt Gretchen was always telling her she let emotions get the better of her.
“You can’t walk anywhere in this cold. I’ll drive you wherever you’re going. My buggy is behind those trees.”
He was right; it was too cold to walk and if Gretchen knew she’d walked so far in the snow, she’d get into trouble. Squinting in the direction he was pointing, she made out the shape of a buggy behind the trees. Before she could refuse or accept his offer, she heard a buggy and was pleased to see that it was Tara coming to collect her.
“I have to go. That's my friend who's come to get me.” She’d never been so pleased to see Tara.
“I hope we meet again, Elizabeth.”
She didn’t answer and moved faster to meet the buggy.
